The Green Eyed Monster

envy: painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage.

Today I learned about the death of Mike Padgett. Mike was the guy who trained me to work in commercial radio many years ago. He was a thin guy, dark haired, olive skinned, dark eyes, and he was just cool. He had a great radio voice and a smooth delivery. Everybody loved him. He had worked in radio since he was 16. He knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life and I admired that. In some ways I envied him. He just seemed to have it all together. I was older than him and being trained by him for a part-time radio position. But I learned today that he died of pancreatic cancer last year.

It seems that I have a history of envying people. A few of them come to mind.

I had a cousin named Barry Moore. We grew up together in Philadelphia but when I was fourteen, my family moved to New Jersey. The next year, Barry’s family moved to New Jersey and he attended my high school. I envied Barry because he grew into fine strapping young man who seemed to be better getting the girls than I was. But one fateful night, while driving home from the prom, he had a tragic car accident that almost decapitated him. He clung to life for a few days but he died at 19 years old. I was one of the pallbearers at his funeral. I had no good reason to envy his life.

I also recall my high school buddy Dennis Clark. We grew up together, had a lot of firsts together, got in a lot of trouble together. But I always envied him because he seemed to have more fun in life than I did. His mother was very lenient, he had a lot of friends, attended a lot of parties and his life just seemed better than mine. As time went by, we went our separate ways. Years later he got married and he got sick on his honeymoon. The doctors said he had yellow jaundice. His health continued to decline, and in time he developed kidney failure. He ended up having two kidney transplants. One day he was hospitalized for pneumonia and because his body was too weak to fight the infection, he died in his thirties, leaving behind a wife and son.

I really had no reason to envy him. It just seemed like his life was better than mine.

I remember Pastor Wayne Barber. He was such a great guy. He was literally a giant of a man with a giant smile. He was such a fun-loving guy, with a wacky sense of humor. He had a beautiful family, pastored a mega church and had an amazing grasp of the Bible. He loved to hunt and fish and always had great stories that he would pepper into his sermons. He was a great expository preacher, one of the best, but unfortunately I envied him. He ended up with ALS, a progressive degenerative disease that affects the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. He went to be with the Lord two years ago.

I don't know. Maybe I'm not alone. Maybe we all struggle with envy. It seems like others have it all together. You think that their life is better than yours. But you never know how their life is going to turn out. My life may not be the best. I may not have all the things that I want. Things may not go the way that I desire but I'm still blessed and God supplies all my needs according to his riches in glory through Christ Jesus.

And I'm still here. I still have the opportunity to minister for Jesus. I am privileged to pastor our church. I can still be an influence in my community. I can still make a difference. I should never envy others. Their life may not be as good as you think it is.

On the other hand, I need to remember that I'm chosen by God to be a part of his family. Not everybody can claim that. Sometimes I wonder why God chose me and not someone else in my family or another friend of mine. I am truly blessed beyond measure.

The word of God says be content with what you have. Godliness with contentment is great gain. God always gives you exactly what you need. He knows you well and He knows what you can handle and He has a plan and a purpose for you, which is different from His plan for anyone else. So don't envy others. Count your many blessings.